You probably don't want to read this.

Hello Bloggers, I haven't had a new post yet this month. There has been plenty of time to blog and much to blog about, but I just haven't been feeling it lately. Not sure why. But now that I've finally gained the urge get on here and type, I'm pretty much just going to tell you what's going through my mind. No, you probably don't really care. But I really just need to sort out my thoughts.

First of all, it seems lately God has really been speaking to me through other people, and He's telling me that I need to be sharing him with others more. And that is the one thing I struggle most with in my walk with God, is sharing my faith. I don't really know why either, it's not that I'm ashamed, afraid, or shy. I just don't really feel comfortable going up to someone I barely know or don't really know and talking to them about God. So I know why God is trying to tell me to do this, because He knows that's something I really need to work on. It bothers me that I don't share the good new about God like I should, but I just don't know how to go about changing that. I guess I'll just do my best and keep praying about it.

Another thing is the fact that I'm almost done with my second year of high school, which means I've only got two years to go. I really don't mind that my sophomore year is ending, because I'm pretty sure the only things I'll remember about it a few years from now is that it was a stressful year and that I was sick a bunch that year. I mean I'll also remember some good memories, but all in all this just hasn't been a very good school year. Next year will probably be worse as far as the stress goes, but at least I'll be able to drive. And as for my Senior year.. Well I just don't even want to think about that yet. All I know is that I better be ready to grow up, because it's just around the corner.

Kind of going more in to detail about something I mentioned in the previous paragraph, I've been sick a lot this year. I usually am a pretty well person, I have been my whole life, until the past few months. Some say I'm a hypocondriact, and maybe their right. All I know is it seems that ever since Christmas, there hasn't been a week that I felt good. Specifically in the last week my stomach and chest have been hurting. Last night it was so bad that I was crying because I was convinced I was going to die. Which sounds insane and stupid and of course I didn't die. But I've been afraid of dying for as long as I can remember so I guess that hasn't changed. I'm pretty much crazy I guess. Don't judge me. I'll probably go to the doctor this week, but they probably think that I'm crazy too. But I'm scared that something is terribly wrong, even though that's very unlikely. Why must I always think negatively?

I thought that blogging would make me feel better, but seeing my thoughts just made me feel more overwhelmed. Ha. Oh well. If you actually read this, I hope you aren't feeling anything like I am right now.