Monday, April 18, 2011

Summer is calling my name

Woot woo, Summer is approaching! Only 27 days of school left, and let me tell you, they better go by fast! As you know I like making lists, so here's a list of some of the things I will accomplish this summer, and some things I hope to accomplish.


    • Get a killer tan. 
    • Play a whole lot of golf, and improve my game quite a bit.
    • Go on a mission trip to Cleveland, Ohio.
    • Spend too much time with my friends.
    • Enjoy some delicious summer foods. [You know, grilled hot dogs, chicken, cheeseburgers, popsicles, fresh fruit dipped in sugar.. Yummy I get excited just thinking about it:) Anyways..]
    •  Go to Disney World!
    • Attend multiple county fairs. 
    • Do some pageants. [Maybe? Haven't decided yet.]
    • Take a bunch of pictures.
    • Drink a lot of Kool-aid.
    • Go to San Francisco. 
    • Attend Beta Nationals, and hopefully win group talent. 
    • Ride around with all my friends who will be able to drive then.
    • Shop a little bit.
    • Do some thing really nice for someone. Maybe more than once.
    • Paint something. [Not sure what, or why I have the sudden urge to be artsy?]
    • Find a way to make some money.
    • Go to baseball games.
    • Swim, of course.
It's going to be an excting summer I can already tell! I'm going to try to make it one of the best summers yet:)

    Thursday, April 14, 2011

    Blessed

    Okay, so I would like to apologize for my previous post, because it mistakenly made me sound very depressed. I have learned my lesson not to blog when I'm at the peak of a very emotional day. So having said that, I am currently content and much less stressed.

    Now that that is out of the way, I would like to share a story with you. Well, I'm not sure as if you would call it a story or not. Anyways, I am sharing this in hopes that it will make you appreciate life just a little bit more; it sure has made my perspective change.

    My great uncle Jerry is in his sixties, and is dying of cancer. A few months ago he found out he had cancer and it was spreading quickly, and that his time left on this earth was very limited. Recently his condition worsened and he was put in the hospital in Florida, where he is originally from. Knowing that at this point it was not likely that he would live much longer, he decided to return to Kentucky where most of his family is.

    Of course, the fact that he unexpectedly was diagnosed with cancer is a terrible thing in itself, but there are other details that make the situation even more tragic. Several years ago, his wife passed away. Then a couple years after that, his only son, whom was only in his forties, died of a heart attack. So for a while, Jerry was very lonely. Two of the people that he loved the most in this world were gone. But he met a wonderful lady named Pat whose spouse had died as well, and they fell in love and got married. [Aww so precious right?]
    Pat lived here in Kentucky and Jerry lived in Florida, so for the past year or so that they have been married they have traveled back and forth between the two states.

    But now, things are to change. Pat will soon have to deal with the death of another husband. That just kills me. I can't imagine having to go through that once, much less twice. It seems just as if when their lives were better and complete again, and then this had to happen.

    I went and visited Pat and my Uncle Jerry yesterday. It was tough seeing him, because he looked completely different and you could tell he was just barely holding on to life. But as I sat by his bed and held his hand with my mom and brother standing next to me, he said something that I never ever will forget.

    My mom sympathetically said, "I wish you felt better", and he simply responded with, "Well sometimes you just have to take what you're given."

    It amazes me and inspires me that even though he was in an enormous amount of pain, and even though his world was quickly fading, he still did not complain once. He was grateful, despite his condition.

    I thought about this a lot yesterday, and I was reminded how blessed I really truly am. I have an amazing healthy family and I am healthy myself. I take so much for granted, and I forget to thank God sometimes for the simple fact I'm still breathing. I freak out over little things that in comparison to how things could be, are nothing. God has given me so much!

    But I really hope my Uncle Jerry lives at least a few more days so that I can go see him once again. He really is a remarkable man and will be missed by me and many others. My intentions of writing this were not to make anyone feel sorry for me, I really just hope that you will remember to praise God for the life that he has given you. Hard times will come but they will pass. And through hard times, God is by your side, helping you each step of the way.

    "Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:18 :)

    Sunday, April 10, 2011

    You probably don't want to read this.

    Hello Bloggers, I haven't had a new post yet this month. There has been plenty of time to blog and much to blog about, but I just haven't been feeling it lately. Not sure why. But now that I've finally gained the urge get on here and type, I'm pretty much just going to tell you what's going through my mind. No, you probably don't really care. But I really just need to sort out my thoughts.

    First of all, it seems lately God has really been speaking to me through other people, and He's telling me that I need to be sharing him with others more. And that is the one thing I struggle most with in my walk with God, is sharing my faith. I don't really know why either, it's not that I'm ashamed, afraid, or shy. I just don't really feel comfortable going up to someone I barely know or don't really know and talking to them about God. So I know why God is trying to tell me to do this, because He knows that's something I really need to work on. It bothers me that I don't share the good new about God like I should, but I just don't know how to go about changing that. I guess I'll just do my best and keep praying about it.

    Another thing is the fact that I'm almost done with my second year of high school, which means I've only got two years to go. I really don't mind that my sophomore year is ending, because I'm pretty sure the only things I'll remember about it a few years from now is that it was a stressful year and that I was sick a bunch that year. I mean I'll also remember some good memories, but all in all this just hasn't been a very good school year. Next year will probably be worse as far as the stress goes, but at least I'll be able to drive. And as for my Senior year.. Well I just don't even want to think about that yet. All I know is that I better be ready to grow up, because it's just around the corner.

    Kind of going more in to detail about something I mentioned in the previous paragraph, I've been sick a lot this year. I usually am a pretty well person, I have been my whole life, until the past few months. Some say I'm a hypocondriact, and maybe their right. All I know is it seems that ever since Christmas, there hasn't been a week that I felt good. Specifically in the last week my stomach and chest have been hurting. Last night it was so bad that I was crying because I was convinced I was going to die. Which sounds insane and stupid and of course I didn't die. But I've been afraid of dying for as long as I can remember so I guess that hasn't changed. I'm pretty much crazy I guess. Don't judge me. I'll probably go to the doctor this week, but they probably think that I'm crazy too. But I'm scared that something is terribly wrong, even though that's very unlikely. Why must I always think negatively?

    I thought that blogging would make me feel better, but seeing my thoughts just made me feel more overwhelmed. Ha. Oh well. If you actually read this, I hope you aren't feeling anything like I am right now.