Blessed

Okay, so I would like to apologize for my previous post, because it mistakenly made me sound very depressed. I have learned my lesson not to blog when I'm at the peak of a very emotional day. So having said that, I am currently content and much less stressed.

Now that that is out of the way, I would like to share a story with you. Well, I'm not sure as if you would call it a story or not. Anyways, I am sharing this in hopes that it will make you appreciate life just a little bit more; it sure has made my perspective change.

My great uncle Jerry is in his sixties, and is dying of cancer. A few months ago he found out he had cancer and it was spreading quickly, and that his time left on this earth was very limited. Recently his condition worsened and he was put in the hospital in Florida, where he is originally from. Knowing that at this point it was not likely that he would live much longer, he decided to return to Kentucky where most of his family is.

Of course, the fact that he unexpectedly was diagnosed with cancer is a terrible thing in itself, but there are other details that make the situation even more tragic. Several years ago, his wife passed away. Then a couple years after that, his only son, whom was only in his forties, died of a heart attack. So for a while, Jerry was very lonely. Two of the people that he loved the most in this world were gone. But he met a wonderful lady named Pat whose spouse had died as well, and they fell in love and got married. [Aww so precious right?]
Pat lived here in Kentucky and Jerry lived in Florida, so for the past year or so that they have been married they have traveled back and forth between the two states.

But now, things are to change. Pat will soon have to deal with the death of another husband. That just kills me. I can't imagine having to go through that once, much less twice. It seems just as if when their lives were better and complete again, and then this had to happen.

I went and visited Pat and my Uncle Jerry yesterday. It was tough seeing him, because he looked completely different and you could tell he was just barely holding on to life. But as I sat by his bed and held his hand with my mom and brother standing next to me, he said something that I never ever will forget.

My mom sympathetically said, "I wish you felt better", and he simply responded with, "Well sometimes you just have to take what you're given."

It amazes me and inspires me that even though he was in an enormous amount of pain, and even though his world was quickly fading, he still did not complain once. He was grateful, despite his condition.

I thought about this a lot yesterday, and I was reminded how blessed I really truly am. I have an amazing healthy family and I am healthy myself. I take so much for granted, and I forget to thank God sometimes for the simple fact I'm still breathing. I freak out over little things that in comparison to how things could be, are nothing. God has given me so much!

But I really hope my Uncle Jerry lives at least a few more days so that I can go see him once again. He really is a remarkable man and will be missed by me and many others. My intentions of writing this were not to make anyone feel sorry for me, I really just hope that you will remember to praise God for the life that he has given you. Hard times will come but they will pass. And through hard times, God is by your side, helping you each step of the way.

"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:18 :)

You probably don't want to read this.

Hello Bloggers, I haven't had a new post yet this month. There has been plenty of time to blog and much to blog about, but I just haven't been feeling it lately. Not sure why. But now that I've finally gained the urge get on here and type, I'm pretty much just going to tell you what's going through my mind. No, you probably don't really care. But I really just need to sort out my thoughts.

First of all, it seems lately God has really been speaking to me through other people, and He's telling me that I need to be sharing him with others more. And that is the one thing I struggle most with in my walk with God, is sharing my faith. I don't really know why either, it's not that I'm ashamed, afraid, or shy. I just don't really feel comfortable going up to someone I barely know or don't really know and talking to them about God. So I know why God is trying to tell me to do this, because He knows that's something I really need to work on. It bothers me that I don't share the good new about God like I should, but I just don't know how to go about changing that. I guess I'll just do my best and keep praying about it.

Another thing is the fact that I'm almost done with my second year of high school, which means I've only got two years to go. I really don't mind that my sophomore year is ending, because I'm pretty sure the only things I'll remember about it a few years from now is that it was a stressful year and that I was sick a bunch that year. I mean I'll also remember some good memories, but all in all this just hasn't been a very good school year. Next year will probably be worse as far as the stress goes, but at least I'll be able to drive. And as for my Senior year.. Well I just don't even want to think about that yet. All I know is that I better be ready to grow up, because it's just around the corner.

Kind of going more in to detail about something I mentioned in the previous paragraph, I've been sick a lot this year. I usually am a pretty well person, I have been my whole life, until the past few months. Some say I'm a hypocondriact, and maybe their right. All I know is it seems that ever since Christmas, there hasn't been a week that I felt good. Specifically in the last week my stomach and chest have been hurting. Last night it was so bad that I was crying because I was convinced I was going to die. Which sounds insane and stupid and of course I didn't die. But I've been afraid of dying for as long as I can remember so I guess that hasn't changed. I'm pretty much crazy I guess. Don't judge me. I'll probably go to the doctor this week, but they probably think that I'm crazy too. But I'm scared that something is terribly wrong, even though that's very unlikely. Why must I always think negatively?

I thought that blogging would make me feel better, but seeing my thoughts just made me feel more overwhelmed. Ha. Oh well. If you actually read this, I hope you aren't feeling anything like I am right now.

People: Respect them

I've said this before, but I wish I could change people. I wish I could change the world.. But I can't. So hear it goes, another rant about how I wish I could alter people's actions toward others.

Everyday no matter where I go, I am witnessing more and more people treating others with such a lack of respect that I really just want to scream out, "Um, could you be a little less rude?!" It seems to me that people just don't even care about others feelings anymore.


I know that nobody is perfect, including myself. But one thing I try really hard to do is be polite to people and show them respect. Because when people are rude to me, it just feels like a hit to the face. I don't want others to feel like that, especially people like me who take everything straight to the heart. 

I also know that everyone has bad days, days when the last thing you feel like doing is going out of your way to be nice to someone. But that's not exactly what I'm asking. I just don't see how it is that difficult to use simple words such as "Please", "Thank you", "I'm sorry", and "Excuse me". Or doing simple things such as picking up something that someone dropped or not giving someone a nasty look when someone accidentally runs into you. [I know I am guilty of this.]

I'm pretty sure there is no one out there that enjoys being disrepsected, so why would you treat others in a way that you don't want to be? Why not just show a little kindness and try to make this corrupted world just a little be happier?

I'll never understand people or why they do what they do. I don't really have anything left to say except this: Respect others; It's not that hard and you will find yourself to be a much more content person.

:)

I've had the time of my life

Three months of hard work, and it all comes down to three days of shows. A lot of hard work? Yes. A lot of fun? Also, yes!

Tonight is our last performance, and I'm kind of sad about it. Despite all the stress and busyness of preparing for this show, the past week has been extremely fun.

I can honestly say when I'm up on stage with the lights beaming down me and 45 other amazingly talented people, I'm having the time of my life performing, dancing and singing.

Some great memories have been made and there have been some pretty hilarious moments.

I'm going to miss it a lot, but I still have 2 years left of show choir so no need to be too sad. I can't imagine what the seniors feel like though, what if tonight was my last show EVER?

Anyways, I've had a great time with Flashback to the 70s and 80s, but I'm ready to have my real life back. I am going to actually have free time on my hands now!

I like lists, so here's a list of things I'm hoping to accomplish starting tomorrow:

- Play a whole lot of golf.
- Attend several baseball games.
- Learn my end of the year piano recital piece and be able to play it perfect.
- Start doing ab workouts again.
- Catch up and hang out with my friends.
- Clean my room.
- Bring my grades up.
- Get more tan.
- Go back to reading my bible more.
- Get some new pictures developed more my room.
- Download new music.
- Finish the book I'm reading.

Well according to this I will have no trouble filling my time once show choir is over tonight.. It's a great life and I'm so blessed. That is all I have to say.

:)

The Little Things

There are plenty of things I could write about right now. But no one needs to hear any of it nor does anyone probably want to hear about it, cause it would just be me rambling. But I am very happy. So I am going to make a list of all the little things in life that bring me joy. Just so when I'm feeling down, I can look back at this and remember I have plenty of things to smile about. And yes, a lot of these things are going to be food.. Don't judge me;)

- Jesus. [Not a small thing, but I felt as if He needed to be put first.]
- Walks on the beach, laying out on the beach, the sound of the waves crashing against the shore.
- My awesome family and friends.
- Japanese peanuts.
- Releasing my anger and sadness by playing piano.
- Big, long hugs:)
- Getting cute new clothes, shoes, and jewelry.
- That perfect weather when it's warm with a slight breeze.
- Playing golf, especially in that type of weather.
- Swedish fish.
- FCA.
- Traveling.
- Cruises!!
- Laughing so hard that I can't talk or hardly breathe.
- Smelling good.
- Candy stores.
- Taking picture with my friends.
- Getting a text or phone call that makes my day.
- Afternoon naps.
- Hot fries.
- Just laying or sitting there, thinking.
- Tiny Wings!
- MUSIC<3 [I must specifically mention Taylor Swift]
- Christmas time.
- Sledding and almost getting hurt but then not getting hurt so it's funny.. :P
- Fruit dipped in a large pile of sugar.
- Tanning.
- Summer time!
- Blue raspberry lemonade.
- Math. [Don't make fun]
- Days when my hair cooperates well.
- High School basketball games.
- Anything with cheese!
- Driving my little blue versa:)
- Roller coasters and other such thrill rides.
- Nicholas Sparks' books.
- Just Dance!
- The amazing feeling when someone plays with my hair.
- Trying food from foreign countries.
- Chrysalis:)
- Zebra print.
- My pillow pet that needs a better name.
- Getting my toenails done.
- Having days where I just feel accomplished.
- Blogging of course.

I will more than likely add to this list because there's so many things I'm sure I forgot..

Sacrifice

Lent. The 40 days before Easter where you're supposed to sacrifice something in order to remember the sacrifice that God gave for us, His Son. For some reason until this year, I never really thought about giving up something for lent. Honestly, until a couple years ago, I thought only Catholics partook in it. But then I learned a few Protestant denominations do it as well.

I attend a Baptist church and they do not really put an emphasis on Lent. In fact, I'm not sure I've ever even heard it mentioned at my church.

However, my personal opinion is that giving up something for Lent should not be something you're forced to do because of what kind of church you attend.  It should be your own decision to sacrifice something in order to build on your relationship with the Lord.

So I have decided myself that I will do Lent in my own unique way. I'm not giving something up completely. Instead, I have chose to not listen to any music but Christian music until Easter. [With the exception of my Show Choir music which I have to listen to.]

Several people have questioned my motives on this. The point is for me to give up the music I listen to on an everyday basis that I thoroughly enjoy. No Taylor Swift. No Justin Bieber. No listening to Rise Against's new album when it comes out. I don't think that giving up food or soft drinks is going to help me remember what God did for me, but I know listening to music everyday that glorifies his name will.

So far it has been a refreshing experience and I don't mind it at all. I know this is supposed to be challenging, and I know it will be as time passes though.

In my opinion, everyone who partakes in giving up something for Lent should do something they know is going to help them. If they just complain the whole time or if they don't really care, then they are missing the whole point.

We serve an amazing God that deserves way more than we can ever give. But we can at least make a little more space in our lives for Him. Lent isn't for everyone, but I hope that those who choose to give something up will do it for the right reasons and have a meaningful experience. Happy Lent:)

I can only imagine

Death. It's one of those things that almost everyone fears, because no one on this earth knows what it feels like to die. Just the concept freaks me out. Do you feel your internal organs shutting down? Are you thinking, and then all of the sudden you're not? Death seems rather mysterious if you ask me. When I was younger, one of my biggest fears was dying. Now I just kind of push the thought away, yet knowing that someday, it's going to happen.

I had never passed out before until a couple days ago. I was in my parents' bathroom, and all of the sudden my stomach and head were killing me. I began to not be able to see and I heard myself hit the floor. I got back up a few seconds later, sweating and scared out of my mind. I couldn't walk, so as I crawled around I asked, "Dad, am I going to die?"

Of course I'm fine now and very much alive. But passing out is kind of like how I imagine death. It was very frightening. However this past Sunday at church, I was reminded that death is nothing to be afraid of.

Our church choir presented different songs about heaven, and the first song they sang was "I Can Only Imagine". It had a video to accompany it, and let's just say that I was fighting the tears during the whole song. I looked for it on youtube but couldn't find it. But just listening to the song itself will make you realize that once you reach heaven after death, it will be so much better than life on earth.

It's amazing how God works. Just a couple days after I caught a glimpse of what death might be like, God used that choir performance to show me that I have much to look forward to when I die, and nothing to dread.

Now don't mistake me for saying that everyone is going to heaven and therefore should't fear death. Many are not, which saddens me greatly. You know in your heart where your destination is after your life in this world is over, and if you don't then I would love to talk to you about it. As those who are joining me in heaven, don't forget it is our job to save those who aren't.

Heaven is going to be a beautiful place and I can't wait. I hope that you too can start looking at death in a more positive way, and will see me and many others someday inside those golden gates.

:)